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WWE SMACKDOWN! RESULTS

September 11, 2003
Birmingham, Alabama
Announcers: Michael Cole & Tazz

  1. VELOCITY TAPINGS:
    • Alan Steel beat ??? (dark)..
    • Jon Heidenreich beat Travis Tomko (dark)..
    • Jamie Noble beat Chris Kanyon..
    • Basham Brothers beat Poker Face & Scott Vantasico..
    • Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas beat Ultimo Dragon & Funaki..

  2. TAG MATCH: Tajiri & Nunzio vs Rey Mysterio & Billy Kidman..
    • Tajiri moved out of the way of the 619, then nailed a side-kick on Rey Mysterio's chin and pinned him!
    • After the match, Tajiri whacked Rey Mysterio in the face with the Cruiserweight title!

  3. BACKSTAGE: Vince McMahon & Sable & The Big Show + Stephanie McMahon + Brock Lesnar..
    • The Big Show is wearing a new suit..
    • Stephanie McMahon shows up and asks if her father is proud of herself for what they did to Zach Gowan last week..
    • Vince McMahon says that Brock Lesnar went into business for himself when he did that..
    • Stephanie McMahon says she doesn't beleive him, and knows he set up Zach Gowan..
    • Stephanie McMahon says that Brock Lesnar deserves to be in jail..
    • Brock Lesnar shows up behind Stephanie (good place to be)..
    • Brock Lesnar says he'll beat Kurt Angle in the Iron Man match next week to become a 3-time WWE champion..
    • Brock Lesnar says he needs a warm-up match, and suggests he fight Kurt Angle, Undertaker & Zach Gowan..
    • Stephanie McMahon says Brock Lesnar knows damn well none of them are here tonight..
    • Brock Lesnar then says that he should have a match with Stephanie McMahon tonight..
    • Vince McMahon & The Big Show agree that that match is "Money in the Bank" and "Good for Ratings"..
    • Vince McMahon then gives Stephanie McMahon the option to quit her General Manager's position instead..
    • Stephanie McMahon walks out of the office..
    • Editor's Note: Oh thank god we have a McMahon storyline on television tonight (sarcasm)..

  4. BACKSTAGE: Torrie Wilson & Nidia + Dawn Marie..
    • Nidia convinces Torrie Wilson to talk to Dawn Marie and bury the hatchet..
    • Nidia tries to talk Dawn Marie out of wrestling Shaniqua tonight, stating that its suicide..
    • Dawn Marie says she cannot let Shaniqua beat up people every week (it's only been ONE week!)..

  5. DIVAS MATCH: Shaniqua vs Dawn Marie..
    • Shaniqua demolished Dawn Marie and then got a steel chair from the outside..
    • Torrie Wilson & Nidia hit the ring and took down Shaniqua for the save (Shaniqua wins by DQ)..
    • Torrie Wilson picked up the chair and whacked Shaniqua with it (Editor's Note: Strangely arrousing)..
    • Editor's Note: Shaniqua has horrible mobility, but I must say Dawn Marie has improved as a wrestler..

  6. BACKSTAGE: Stephanie McMahon & Sable..
    • Sable antagonizes Stephanie McMahon over having to make a decision over her job, or her health..
    • Editor's Note: Does anybody else notice Sable is the absolute worst actress on the planet??????

  7. MATCH: Chris Benoit vs Rhyno..
    • A-Train ran down 2 minutes into the match and drove Chris Benoit into the ringpost..
    • Rhyno went for the cover, but only got a two-count..
    • Rhyno locked a sharpshooter on Chris Benoit, who eventually crawled to the ropes for the break..
    • Chris Benoit then put Rhyno in a sharpshooter, and Rhyno also crawled to the ropes to break the hold..
    • Chris Benoit hit Rhyno with a sunset flip powerbomb from the second rope..
    • Rhyno fought back with a stiff spinebuster on Chris Benoit..
    • Chris Benoit won after making Rhyno tap out to the crippler crossface!

  8. BACKSTAGE: The APA & The FBI & Orlando Jordan & Matt Hardy & Sean O'Haire & Bruce..
    • Bradshaw says they don't trust most of these guys, but doesn't mind taking their money in poker..
    • The APA servant (Bruce) is helping out with drinks and snacks around the table..
    • Matt Hardy comments that he can't believe the APA is exploiting someone of lesser value..
    • Shannon Moore comes in out of breath, and says he went all over town looking for Matt's favorite Orange Juice..
    • Matt Hardy yells at Shannon Moore for getting No Pulp, instead of Extra Pulp..
    • Matt Hardy says that the APA degrades Bruce, but he upgrades Shannon Moore..
    • Matt Hardy says that the APA should be a on a twelve step program for alcolholism..
    • Bradshaw says that Matt Hardy should be on a 2-step program to get Shannon Moore out of his ass!
    • They set up a match between APA and Team Mattitude later in the show..
    • The poker tables clears and Bradshaw & Farooq pay tribute to the victims and heros of 9/11 with a toast..

  9. SUMMERSLAM: Brock Lesnar vs Kurt Angle..
    • On the canadian version of Smackdown!, which was two hours, we got to see the main event of Summerslam..
    • The American version of Smackdown! was reduced to 1.5 hours due to the series premier of a show called "The Mullets"..

  10. LATINO STREET FIGHT: Eddie Guerrero vs John Cena..
    • Match took place in the middle of a bunch of cars arranges in a circle, with WWE wrestlers watching on..
    • John Cena pulled a lawn mower out of the back of a van and started it up, but didn't get to use it..
    • John Cena swung a shovel at Eddie Guerrero, who ducked, and the shovel dented a car..
    • Eddy Guerrro then swung the shovel and smashed a headlight!
    • John Cena locked Eddie Guerrero in a trunk, but Eddie kicked it open and whacked John Cena in the face!
    • John Cena put Eddie Guerrero through a windsheild, then whacked him with a car door..
    • Eddie Guerrero smashed John Cena's head into a window, which shattered..
    • John Cena returned the favor and rammed Eddie Guerrero's head through another window!
    • Eddie Guerrero bounced John Cena's head off the horn causing a "honk honk honk"..
    • Eddie Guerrero pushed a cigarette lighter into John Cena's chest..
    • John Cena backdropped Eddie Guerrero onto the hood of another car..
    • Eddie Guerrero then hiptossed John Cena on the hood of a car!
    • Chavo Guerrero showed up out of nowhere and smashed John Cena with a hubcap!
    • Eddy Guererro jumped off a van and hit a frog-splash on John Cena, who was on the hood!

  11. TAG MATCH: The APA (Bradshaw & Farooq) vs Team Mattitude (Matt Hardy & Shannon Moore)..
    • The APA destroys Team Mattitude, with Shannon Mooore taking the brunt of the bumps..
    • After the match, Bruce came down and served beers to Farooq & Bradshaw (who is that guy?)

  12. MAIN EVENT: Brock Lesnar vs Stephanie McMahon..
    • Vince McMahon comes out first and introduces Brock Lesnar..
    • Vince McMahon then introduces Stephanie McMahon, who comes out in her wrestling gear..
    • Stephanie McMahon slaps Vince and low-blows him..
    • Brock Lesnar assults and harasses Stephanie McMahon, who eventually gets up and bolts up the ilse!
    • Brock Lesnar chases her backstage and brings her back and sets up for the F5 against the ringpost!
    • Kurt Angle runs down to make the save and run off Brock Lesnar and Vince McMahon..
    • Editor's Note: If you have any pride for the wrestling industry, watch next week's Smackdown!..

  13. Smackdown! goes OFF THE AIR....

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