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WWE SMACKDOWN! RESULTS

May 29, 2003
Pensacola, Florida
Announcers: Michael Cole & Tazz

  1. VELOCITY TAPING:
    • Ultimo Dragon def Crash with the Indian Deathlock bridge (dark)..
    • Sean Evans & Kanyon d. David Flair & Jim Stack (dark)..
    • Bill DeMott def eats Shannon Moore..
    • Orlando Jordan def eats Jamie Noble..
    • John Cena cut a heel promo (rap style) on Pensacola, Florida..
    • A-Train def eats Joey Matthews..
    • Matt Hardy def eats Funaki..

  2. DIVAS MATCH: Torrie Wilson vs Nidia w/Jamie Noble..
    • Sable comes out as guest ring announcer and introduces Torrie from "Loserville" weighing "Way too much!"..
    • Nidia won with a rollup, after Jamie Noble distracted Torrie!
    • Tazz got up and attacked Jamie Noble!
    • Torrie ripped Nidia's shorts off!
    • Sable tossed a picture full of water into Tazz's face for the second week in a row!

  3. PARKING LOT: Vince McMahon..
    • Vince McMahon forces the limo driver to remain parked in a Handicap zone because he's MR MCMAHON!
    • Vince McMahon says it won't take him long to proove that Mr America is Hulk Hogan any way..

  4. BACKSTAGE: Stephanie McMahon & Lie Detector Guys..
    • Stephanie McMahon is helping to test the Lie Detector machine..

  5. BACKSTAGE: Team Angle..
    • Team Angle say they have to win their titles back because Kurt Angle returns next week..

  6. BACKSTAGE: Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri..
    • Eddie Guerrero is teaching Tajiri about the "Lie, Cheat & Steal" lifestyle..
    • Tajiri (speaking english for the first time?) says he stole a car to get them to the ring tonight!
    • Eddie Guerrero, with a tear in his eye, says that Tajiri is learning so fast!

  7. TAG TITLE MATCH: Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri vs Team Angle..
    • Late in the match, Charlie Haas locks the Haas of Pain on Tajiri!
    • Suddenly, the ring bell rang with the referee didn't call for it?!
    • Eddie Guerrero comes in with a tag belt and tug-of-wars with Charlie Haas..
    • Eddie Guerrero lets go and Haas goes flying with the belt..
    • Eddy lays down and "plays dead"..
    • The referee turns around, sees Eddie laid out, and Charlie Haas holding the belt!
    • The referee calls for the disqualification, awarding the match to Eddie & Tajiri!

  8. RINGSIDE INTERVIEW: Josh Mathews & Zack Gowan..
    • Zack says he's concerned about the lie detector test tonight..
    • Zack says he dosn't have a contract or a backstage pass so he bought a front row ticket!

  9. IN THE RING: Vince McMahon & Mr. America..
    • Vince McMahon welcomes everyone to the LIE DETECTOR TEST of Mr. America..
    • Vince McMahon says this will be the last time they see Hulk Hogan in a WWE ring..
    • Vince says that when Mr. America fails the test, his contact is void, and he'll be fired!
    • Vince notices Zack Gowan in the front row..
    • Vince jokes that after tonight, neither Hulk Hogan or Zack Gowan will have a leg to stand on!
    • Mr. America then comes out to the ring with a concerned look on his face..
    • The officers hook Mr. America up to the lie detector machine..
    • ~~~Are you the man known as Mr. America? --- Yes. (ding!)
    • ~~~Are you currenting sitting in a wrestling ring in Pensacola, FL? --- Yes. (ding!)
    • ~~~Are you currently employed on Smackdown!? --- Yes. (ding!)
    • Vince McMahon gets impatient and orders the officer to ask him THE question..
    • ~~~Mr. America, are you, Hulk Hogan? --- the crowd chants USA! USA! USA!
    • Mr. America asks for a drink of water..
    • ~~~Vince McMahon asks the question again, ARE YOU HULK HOGAN?? --- No. (ding!)
    • The officer says that he's telling the truth!
    • Vince McMahon tells him to ask him again!
    • ~~~Mr. America, are you Hulk Hogan? --- No. (ding!)
    • Vince McMahon tells him to ask the question properly!
    • ~~~Mr. America, ARE YOU Hulk Hogan? --- No. (ding!)
    • ~~~Vince gets upset and asks "Are you Hogan Hogan Hogan????" --- No. No. No. (ding! ding! ding!)
    • The officer says that Mr. America has passed the test!
    • Mr. America gets up and starts to celebrate..
    • Vince McMahon says that if Mr. America can cheat a lie detector test, than so can he!
    • Vince McMahon straps himself up onto the machine, and tells them to ask anything..
    • ~~~Are you Vince McMahon? --- Yes I am. (ding!)
    • ~~~Are you the chairman of the WWE? --- Yes I am. (ding!)
    • ~~~Mr. America asks: Are you the biggest asshole on God's green earth? --- No. (buuzzzzz!!!)
    • ~~~Mr. America asks: Are you a sick, perverted, power hungry freak? --- No. (buuzzzzz!)
    • ~~Vince McMahon says he's a well respected business man (buzzzzz!)
    • ~~Vince McMahon says everything he does he does it for people around the world (buuuzzz!)
    • ~Most of you (buzzzz!) ~Some of you (buzzzz!) ~OK, I do it for me, and me only! (ding!)
    • ~But I am NOT A PERVERT (buuuuzzzzz!)
    • ~~~Mr. America asks: Do you spend your time looking at Torrie Wilson's Playboy? --- No. (buzz!!)
    • ~~Vince says it was a long time ago (buzz!), last month (buzz!), this morning (buzz!), in the limo (ding!)
    • ~~Vince says at least he doesn't fantisize over Mae Young! (buuzzz!!)
    • ~~Vince gets horribly upset and says he hates Hulk Hogan!! (ding!!)
    • Vince tries to sucker-punch Mr. America, but gets knocked on his own ass in the ring!!

  10. BACKSTAGE: Vince McMahon & Stephanie McMahon..
    • Vince McMahon complains to Stephanie about being made to look like an ass!
    • Vince McMahon blames Stephanie because she was responsible for hiring the officers..
    • Vince McMahon says he's beginning to wonder what is going on around here..
    • Stephanie sarcastically suggests she take a lie detector test!?
    • Vince says that next week there is going to be a change "for the better"..

  11. MATCH: Sean O'Haire w/Roddy Piper vs Chris Benoit..
    • Roddy Piper eventually gets involved, but finds himself locked in the crippler crossface!
    • Sean O'Haire took advantage of the distraction and pinned Chris Benoit for the upset victory!

  12. INTERVIEW: Rey Mysterio + Matt Hardy..
    • Rey says that there is no doubt in his mind that he will win the WWE Cruiserweight title..
    • Rey says that he pulled his groin kasr week but he's going to keep on going for his "people"..
    • Matt Hardy enters and makes fun of Rey's whining, saying nothing will stop him from beating Rey next week..
    • Rey says he is not scared of Matt and slaps him accross the face!
    • Matt retaliates by kicking Rey in his already injured groin..

  13. FEATURES:
    • A "Desire" style video package plays hyping the return of Kurt Angle next week..
    • A short video plays featuring the debut of International superstar Ultimo Dragon..

  14. TAG MATCH: Rikishi & Spanky vs Basham Brothers (debut)..
    • Rikishi initiates the Basham Brothers into the WWE with a double stinkface!
    • Doug Basham eventually gets the pinfall for the victory..

  15. PARKING LOT: Vince McMahon & Zack Gowan..
    • Vince McMahon comes out of the arena and finds his limo being towed!
    • The driver tells Vince that he warned him about parking in a handicap zone..
    • Vince tells the driver that he's going to the airport even if the towtruck guy has to drive him!
    • Vince gets in the limo and he gets a knock on the window..
    • Zack Gowan informs Vince McMahon that it's ILLEGAL to park in a handicap zone, as Vince pulls away!

  16. HANDICAP MATCH: Undertaker & Brock Lesnar vs The Full Blooded Italians & Big Show w/Nunzio..
    • Nunzio comes out and says that he's not wrestling cause Undertaker injured him last week!
    • Nunzio says he found a suitable replacement, and introduces the Big Show !!!
    • Late in the match, Undertaker locks Big Show in the dragon sleeper..
    • Nunzio runs in and whacks Undertaker with a chair!
    • All hell breaks loose until Brock hits both FBI members with F5s!
    • Big Show gets back in the ring and chokeslams Brock Lesnar, and pins him for the victory!!!

  17. Smackdown! goes OFF THE AIR....

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