WWE SMACKDOWN! RESULTS
May 29, 2003|
Announcers: Michael Cole & Tazz
- VELOCITY TAPING:
- Ultimo Dragon def Crash with the Indian Deathlock bridge (dark)..
- Sean Evans & Kanyon d. David Flair & Jim Stack (dark)..
- Bill DeMott def eats Shannon Moore..
- Orlando Jordan def eats Jamie Noble..
- John Cena cut a heel promo (rap style) on Pensacola, Florida..
- A-Train def eats Joey Matthews..
- Matt Hardy def eats Funaki..
- DIVAS MATCH: Torrie Wilson vs Nidia w/Jamie Noble..
- Sable comes out as guest ring announcer and introduces Torrie from "Loserville" weighing "Way too much!"..
- Nidia won with a rollup, after Jamie Noble distracted Torrie!
- Tazz got up and attacked Jamie Noble!
- Torrie ripped Nidia's shorts off!
- Sable tossed a picture full of water into Tazz's face for the second week in a row!
- PARKING LOT: Vince McMahon..
- Vince McMahon forces the limo driver to remain parked in a Handicap zone because he's MR MCMAHON!
- Vince McMahon says it won't take him long to proove that Mr America is Hulk Hogan any way..
- BACKSTAGE: Stephanie McMahon & Lie Detector Guys..
- Stephanie McMahon is helping to test the Lie Detector machine..
- BACKSTAGE: Team Angle..
- Team Angle say they have to win their titles back because Kurt Angle returns next week..
- BACKSTAGE: Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri..
- Eddie Guerrero is teaching Tajiri about the "Lie, Cheat & Steal" lifestyle..
- Tajiri (speaking english for the first time?) says he stole a car to get them to the ring tonight!
- Eddie Guerrero, with a tear in his eye, says that Tajiri is learning so fast!
- TAG TITLE MATCH: Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri vs Team Angle..
- Late in the match, Charlie Haas locks the Haas of Pain on Tajiri!
- Suddenly, the ring bell rang with the referee didn't call for it?!
- Eddie Guerrero comes in with a tag belt and tug-of-wars with Charlie Haas..
- Eddie Guerrero lets go and Haas goes flying with the belt..
- Eddy lays down and "plays dead"..
- The referee turns around, sees Eddie laid out, and Charlie Haas holding the belt!
- The referee calls for the disqualification, awarding the match to Eddie & Tajiri!
- RINGSIDE INTERVIEW: Josh Mathews & Zack Gowan..
- Zack says he's concerned about the lie detector test tonight..
- Zack says he dosn't have a contract or a backstage pass so he bought a front row ticket!
- IN THE RING: Vince McMahon & Mr. America..
- Vince McMahon welcomes everyone to the LIE DETECTOR TEST of Mr. America..
- Vince McMahon says this will be the last time they see Hulk Hogan in a WWE ring..
- Vince says that when Mr. America fails the test, his contact is void, and he'll be fired!
- Vince notices Zack Gowan in the front row..
- Vince jokes that after tonight, neither Hulk Hogan or Zack Gowan will have a leg to stand on!
- Mr. America then comes out to the ring with a concerned look on his face..
- The officers hook Mr. America up to the lie detector machine..
- ~~~Are you the man known as Mr. America? --- Yes. (ding!)
- ~~~Are you currenting sitting in a wrestling ring in Pensacola, FL? --- Yes. (ding!)
- ~~~Are you currently employed on Smackdown!? --- Yes. (ding!)
- Vince McMahon gets impatient and orders the officer to ask him THE question..
- ~~~Mr. America, are you, Hulk Hogan? --- the crowd chants USA! USA! USA!
- Mr. America asks for a drink of water..
- ~~~Vince McMahon asks the question again, ARE YOU HULK HOGAN?? --- No. (ding!)
- The officer says that he's telling the truth!
- Vince McMahon tells him to ask him again!
- ~~~Mr. America, are you Hulk Hogan? --- No. (ding!)
- Vince McMahon tells him to ask the question properly!
- ~~~Mr. America, ARE YOU Hulk Hogan? --- No. (ding!)
- ~~~Vince gets upset and asks "Are you Hogan Hogan Hogan????" --- No. No. No. (ding! ding! ding!)
- The officer says that Mr. America has passed the test!
- Mr. America gets up and starts to celebrate..
- Vince McMahon says that if Mr. America can cheat a lie detector test, than so can he!
- Vince McMahon straps himself up onto the machine, and tells them to ask anything..
- ~~~Are you Vince McMahon? --- Yes I am. (ding!)
- ~~~Are you the chairman of the WWE? --- Yes I am. (ding!)
- ~~~Mr. America asks: Are you the biggest asshole on God's green earth? --- No. (buuzzzzz!!!)
- ~~~Mr. America asks: Are you a sick, perverted, power hungry freak? --- No. (buuzzzzz!)
- ~~Vince McMahon says he's a well respected business man (buzzzzz!)
- ~~Vince McMahon says everything he does he does it for people around the world (buuuzzz!)
- ~Most of you (buzzzz!) ~Some of you (buzzzz!) ~OK, I do it for me, and me only! (ding!)
- ~But I am NOT A PERVERT (buuuuzzzzz!)
- ~~~Mr. America asks: Do you spend your time looking at Torrie Wilson's Playboy? --- No. (buzz!!)
- ~~Vince says it was a long time ago (buzz!), last month (buzz!), this morning (buzz!), in the limo (ding!)
- ~~Vince says at least he doesn't fantisize over Mae Young! (buuzzz!!)
- ~~Vince gets horribly upset and says he hates Hulk Hogan!! (ding!!)
- Vince tries to sucker-punch Mr. America, but gets knocked on his own ass in the ring!!
- BACKSTAGE: Vince McMahon & Stephanie McMahon..
- Vince McMahon complains to Stephanie about being made to look like an ass!
- Vince McMahon blames Stephanie because she was responsible for hiring the officers..
- Vince McMahon says he's beginning to wonder what is going on around here..
- Stephanie sarcastically suggests she take a lie detector test!?
- Vince says that next week there is going to be a change "for the better"..
- MATCH: Sean O'Haire w/Roddy Piper vs Chris Benoit..
- Roddy Piper eventually gets involved, but finds himself locked in the crippler crossface!
- Sean O'Haire took advantage of the distraction and pinned Chris Benoit for the upset victory!
- INTERVIEW: Rey Mysterio + Matt Hardy..
- Rey says that there is no doubt in his mind that he will win the WWE Cruiserweight title..
- Rey says that he pulled his groin kasr week but he's going to keep on going for his "people"..
- Matt Hardy enters and makes fun of Rey's whining, saying nothing will stop him from beating Rey next week..
- Rey says he is not scared of Matt and slaps him accross the face!
- Matt retaliates by kicking Rey in his already injured groin..
- A "Desire" style video package plays hyping the return of Kurt Angle next week..
- A short video plays featuring the debut of International superstar Ultimo Dragon..
- TAG MATCH: Rikishi & Spanky vs Basham Brothers (debut)..
- Rikishi initiates the Basham Brothers into the WWE with a double stinkface!
- Doug Basham eventually gets the pinfall for the victory..
- PARKING LOT: Vince McMahon & Zack Gowan..
- Vince McMahon comes out of the arena and finds his limo being towed!
- The driver tells Vince that he warned him about parking in a handicap zone..
- Vince tells the driver that he's going to the airport even if the towtruck guy has to drive him!
- Vince gets in the limo and he gets a knock on the window..
- Zack Gowan informs Vince McMahon that it's ILLEGAL to park in a handicap zone, as Vince pulls away!
- HANDICAP MATCH: Undertaker & Brock Lesnar vs The Full Blooded Italians & Big Show w/Nunzio..
- Nunzio comes out and says that he's not wrestling cause Undertaker injured him last week!
- Nunzio says he found a suitable replacement, and introduces the Big Show !!!
- Late in the match, Undertaker locks Big Show in the dragon sleeper..
- Nunzio runs in and whacks Undertaker with a chair!
- All hell breaks loose until Brock hits both FBI members with F5s!
- Big Show gets back in the ring and chokeslams Brock Lesnar, and pins him for the victory!!!
- Smackdown! goes OFF THE AIR....
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