WWE RAW RESULTS
April 17, 2006|
St. Louis, Missouri
Announcers: Joey Styles & Jerry Lawler & The Coach
- INTERNET HEAT TAPINGS:
- IN THE RING: Vince McMahon...
- Vince McMahon suggested that he may have offended people last week and his son says he may end up going to Hell.
- Vince McMahon then created his new religion called "McMahanism" him being the Lord of all Sports-Entertainment..
- Vince McMahon then showed a series of Photoshopped religious and biblical photographs causing fans to chant "Boring!"
- Vince McMahon quickly picked up on the chants and said "I assure you this is not boring" and continued confidently..
- Vince McMahon said there was at least one person in the building who will not convert, and that is Shawn Michaels..
- Vince McMahon then dared God to "strike him down" if he's lieing -- so Shawn Michaels showed up and super-kicked him!
- Shawn Michaels left the ring and then ran back and stood over Vince's body and gave him the old DX crotch chop!
- Editor's Notes: Mr. McMahon you've been offending me for years with stupid storylines like this stupid storyline..
- BACKSTAGE: Vince McMahon & Triple H..
- Vince McMahon was being helped backstage when he bumped into Triple H, who suggested he cool it with the God stuff..
- Vince McMahon got upset with Triple H and remembered HHH calling him "old man" so he booked HHH vs Cena & Edge later..
- MATCH: Kane destroyed Rob Conway..
- After the match, Kane attacked Lillian Garcia for mentioning "May 19" even though she didn't say anything about it..
- The Big Show came down and confronted Kane and they grabbed eachothers throats but Big Show got the choke-slam on Kane!
- The Big Show walked away as Kane sat up inside the ring with an evil maniacal grin on his face...
- SIT-DOWN INTERVIEW: Jim Ross & Chavo Guerrero..
- Jim Ross welcomes Chavo Guerrero and recaps what happened last week and hopes Chavo reconsiders and stays with WWE..
- Chavo Guerrero said he reconsidered and that he thought long and hard and said he thinks he made the right decision..
- Chavo Guerrero said that he and Eddie always supported eachother and thinks there are other things on the horizon..
- Jim Ross explained that it was only 1 loss and believes that Eddie Guerrero would not approve of Chavo quitting..
- Chavo Guerrero said he feels that his wrestling career has come to and end and shakes JR's hand and cries..
- MATCH: Charlie Haas def Shelton Benjamin...
- If Shelton wins, then RVD puts up his MITB contract-- but if Shelton loses, he must put up the IC title against RVD..
- Rob Van Dam's hand-picked opponent was Shelton Benjamin's formed "Worlds Greatest Tag Team" partner Charlie Haas!
- Nobody remembered Charlie Haas, he looked very different with a porno beard, new tights, and a smaller build..
- Shelton Benjamin did the R-V-D thumb move and then nailed Charlie Haas with the Rolling Thunder (RVD's move)..
- Shelton Benjamin went for a frog-splash but missed and rolled through..
- Charlie Haas then rolled him up to win!
- BACKSTAGE: Vince McMahon + Armando Alejandro Estrada + Shelton Benjamin..
- Armando Alejandro Estrada said he recently converted to McMahonism and offers the services of his man Umaga..
- Armando Alejandro Estrada suggested Vince McMahon book Shawn Michaels in a match with Umaga tonight..
- Vince McMahon agreed to book the match, NEXT, and Armando Alejandro Estrada left the office..
- Shelton Benjamin came in and begged Vince McMahon not to make him def end the Intercontinental title at Backlash..
- Shelton Benjamin said he followed the light to Vince McMahon's office and said only McMahonism can help him..
- Shelton Benjamin was on his knees, and Vince McMahon said he liked people on their knees (TSN cut to commercial)
- MATCH: Shawn Michaels vs Umaga w/Armando Alejandro Estrada..
- Vince McMahon came down to ringside and took a seat to watch the match close-up..
- Vince McMahon & Armando Alejandro Estrada interfered and Umaga destroyed HBK until the referee DQ'd Umaga..
- Vince McMahon stopped Umaga and sent him to the back, saying that he wants to finish Shawn Michaels off himself..
- Vince McMahon tied Shawn Michaels into the ropes and went to get a steel chair from ringside..
- Every time Vince McMahon tried to enter the ring, there was an "explosion" (get it? A sign from God!)..
- Vince McMahon retreated with fear until the stage exploded with fire and knocked Vince on his ass!
- During the commercial, Vince McMahon jumped in his limosine and escape the Savvis Center..
- WWE 24/7 THIS WEEK IN WRESTLING: The Rock throwing Steve Austin & his belt into the Detroit river..
- IN THE RING: Matt Striker returned to RAW (he was buried on HEAT) with his chalk board..
- Dean Doug.... I mean Matt Striker preached to fans from the ring and basically said they were all dumb..
- Matt Striker said the people were more concerned with being "cool" then they are with being "smart"..
- Matt Striker said he had a messege for those people ------------------------- School is Cool!
- Haktui! I spit in the face of people who don't want to be cool --- Carlito Cool comes to the ring...
- Carlito Cool said he was looking for his apple backstage and then he realized that Striker took it..
- Carlito Cool spit the apple in Matt Striker's face and attacked him until Chris Masters attacked him!
- Chris Masters put Carlito Cool in the Masterlock until he passed out and dropped to the mat..
- HANDICAP MATCH: Rob Van Dam vs The Spirit Squad (Mikey & Kenny & Nicky & Johnny & Mitch)..
- If RVD wins then he doesn't have to def end the MITB-- If RVD loses then it will be IC title vs MITB..
- Shelton Benjamin's hand-picked opponent(s) were all five members of the Spirit Squad!
- Rob Van Dam put up a good fight but was eventually over-powered but the Spisit Squad..
- INTERVIEW: Maria Kanellis & Trish Stratus (dressed as Mickie James)..
- Maria Kanellis admitted that she was really confused and didn't really know who she was interviewing..
- Trish Stratus (impersonating Mickie James) bounced around saying she had a surprise for Mickie James in the ring..
- IN THE RING: Trish Stratus (as Mickie James) + Mickie James (as Trish Stratus)..
- Editor's Notes: This is so cool :P
- Trish Stratus came out dressed as Mickie James and bounced around the ring just like Mickie James..
- Trish Stratus said her surprise is "really awesome" and asked Women's Champion Mickie James to come out..
- Mickie James came out really confused and cautious and said she doesn't think she wants the present..
- Trish Stratus opened the box and found her ex-boyfriend Jack (Jack in the box) tied up and gagged..
- Trish Stratus then changed her tond and told Mickie James to stop talking and acting like Trish..
- Mickie James hesitated and yelled "get your filthy hands off my boyfriend" and attacked Trish..
- Trish Stratus made short work of Mickie James and laid her out with a chick-kick..
- Mickie James got up and consoled Jack and then kicked him in the head for cheating on her!
- BACKSTAGE: Edge w/Lita & Triple H..
- Triple H said John Cena was his partner last week and he stabbed him in the back and will stab Edge too..
- Triple H said Edge can blame Mick Foley all he wants but John Cena is the one who took the WWE title..
- HANDICAP MATCH: Triple H vs John Cena & Edge w/Lita..
- As expected the match fell apart quickly as Edge & Cena started fighting and Triple H found a sledgehammer..
- Triple H smashed John Cena's forehead with the sledgehammer and Edge speared Triple H and pinned him to win!
- And that's a wrap folks..
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