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WWE RAW RESULTS

March 31, 2003
Seattle, Washington
Announcers: Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler

  1. HEAT TAPINGS:
    • Buddy Wayne def Tim Flowers (dark match)..
    • Rodney Mack def Spike Dudley..
    • Trish Stratus def Ivory to retain the Women's title..
    • Christian def Tommy Dreamer..

  2. RAW KICKS OFF:
    • Video package of all the action from last night's Wrestlemania spectacular!
    • Backstage, the Rock yells at a make-up guy for trying to fix his face..
    • ~~~Rock says that tonight is Rock appreciation night in Seattle!

  3. IN THE RING: Steve Austin + Eric Bischoff..
    • Austin says that he's always been very very honest since being in the WWE..
    • Austin says that last night The Rock was the better man, and Stone Cold got his ass whipped..
    • Austin says that just cause Rock was the better man last night, doesn't mean he will tonight!
    • Austin calls out the Rock, saying he would like to shake his hand and appreciate him..
    • Instead, Eric Bischoff comes out to the stage..
    • Bischoff says Austin is a vengeful bastard and wants to do more than shake Rock's hand..
    • Bischoff says that he knows what Austin is trying to hide..
    • Bischoff says that Austin spent the night before Wrestlemania in the hospital..
    • Bischoff says his lawyers found out that there is a lot "wrong" with Steve Austin..
    • Bischoff says that Austin's doctors said that his spinal cord is "all screwed up"..
    • Austin says he doesn't appreciate Bischoff digging up his personal information..
    • Austin invites Bischoff to the ring so he can tell this to his face..
    • Bischoff stays on the stage..
    • Austin says that if he wants to raise hell and Bischoff nor the doctors can do anything about it..
    • Bischoff says that Austin is a liability to the WWE..
    • Bischoff says that Austin's position has been terminated, in other words, he's fired!
    • Austin says that Bischoff can't fire him!
    • Bischoff says that a fed-ex copy of the termination notice is on its way to Austin's home..

  4. WORLD (NON-TITLE) MATCH: Triple H vs Hurricane..
    • Hurricane comes out and gives a kid in the front row one of his hurrimasks..
    • Ric Flair went behind him and ripped the mask right off the kid's face and stomped it!
    • Hurricane came to the rescue and got a few shots on Flair before the match started..
    • Triple H eventually wins (big shocker) after hitting the pedigree on Hurricane..

  5. BACKSTAGE: Kane & Rob Van Dam..
    • Kane says that it's better of they go their seperate ways..
    • Rob Van Dam says they could do that, but he just got them another title shot tonight!
    • Rob Vam Dam said that all he had to do was agree to join Bischoff's administration if they lost..
    • Kane got upset that RVD would sign them up for that without asking him first!

  6. MATCH: Scott Stiener vs Christopher Nowinski..
    • Chris comes out with a plastic mask to protect an injury sustained to his face..
    • Chris politely asks Scott Stiener to 'take it easy on the face'..
    • Scott threatens to do more damage to Nowinski, who tries to run away, but Stiener catches him..
    • Scott Stiener beats the living hell out of Chris Nowinski, who taps out to the Stiener recliner..

  7. INTERVIEW: Terri & Steve Austin..
    • Terri asks Austin if what Bischoff said was true?
    • Steve Austin says that yes, his neck sucks, and that he's fired so it doesn't matter..
    • Terri finishes the interview with teary eyes and walks off..

  8. ROCK APPRECIATION MOMENT: The Rock concert..

  9. BACKSTAGE: The Dudley Boyz + Cheif Morely & Lance Storm..
    • Bubba is explaining to DVon that he helped Lance Storm because he was saving their jobs!
    • DVon says that Chief Morely is crazy, and power hungry, and doesn't like him!
    • Bubba agrees that it sucks, but they have to play along for a while..
    • Morely & Storm enter and say that there will be a three team elimination match tonight..
    • Morely says that the four of them will get rid of RVD/Kane, then lay down for Morely/Storm..

  10. BACKSTAGE: Booker T & Ric Flair..
    • Booker T is getting his knee wrapped by medical personell when Ric Flair comes in and taunts him..
    • Booker gets up and grabs Flair and tells him to never stick his nose in his business again!!

  11. MATCH: Maven vs Rosey w/Rico..
    • Editor's Note: Rosey is the worst wrestler ever in WWE history..
    • Maven gets the upset victory with the schoolboy pinfall..

  12. FEATURE: Jerry "the King" Lawler..
    • Jerry Lawler got to be celebrity photographer for a Playboy photo shoot..
    • Editor's Note: FARQING STOP MIXING MY WRESTLING WITH PORN!!!!!

  13. IN THE RING: Chris Jericho + Booker T..
    • Jericho says that he had one of the best matches of his career last night, and thanks HBK..
    • Jericho says that HBK should thank him, because he brought out the best in him..
    • Jericho says that he out-performed Michaels last night, and deserved to win the match..
    • Jericho says that he is going to take his frustrations out on Booker T tonight..
    • Suddenly, Booker T comes out and cuts Jericho off..

  14. MATCH: Chris Jericho vs Booker T..
    • Late in the match, Ric Flair runs down and attacks Booker T causing a disqualification..
    • Triple H comes down as well, and he, Flair and Jericho triple team Booker..
    • Triple H hits Booker with a Pedigree, and Flair puts the figure four on him!
    • Shawn Michaels comes down and makes the save and clears the ring..
    • Jericho jumps Michaels and he, Triple H & Ric Flair start beating HIM up now..
    • Jericho puts the Walls of Jericho on Michaels..
    • Booker T comes back in and tries to help but can't..
    • Triple H puts the Indian Death Lock on Booker T..
    • Ric Flair stomps away at Booker & Michaels as we go to commercial..

  15. MATCH: Stevie Richards w/Victoria vs Jeff Hardy..
    • Victoria holds Jeff's leg, preventing him from climbing the top rope..
    • Trish runs down and delivers the "chick kick" to Victoria..
    • Jeff hits the swanton bomb on Steven Richards for the win..
    • Jeff & Trish have a special moment giving eachother puppy dog eyes but no smooches this week..
    • Editor's Note: Jeff Hardy is so gay, he can't even make a Trish infatuation look real..

  16. PARKING LOT: Steve Austin..
    • Steve Austin shakes the hand of a group of RAW crew members who bid him farewell..
    • Steve walks up the ramp into the darkness..

  17. ROCK APPRECIATION MOMENT: Finally the Rock has come back to -insert your city-..

  18. BACKSTAGE: Test & Stacy Keibler + Goldust..
    • Stacy walks in on Test, who is talking on the phone, complimenting the person on their "spread"..
    • Stacy innocently asks who he was talking to and Test gets extremely def ensive!
    • Test tries to get Goldust to back him up, but Goldust spazzes out and tells Stacy the truth!

  19. BACKSTAGE: The Rock..
    • The Rock is looking for Steve Austin backstage and sees all the crew members looking sad..
    • The Rock tells them to cheer up cause he needs them to set up for the Rock appreciation night..
    • The Rock that after the show, they're all going to a big party with the Rock!
    • The Rock promises PIE all night long, and that makes them all happy :)

  20. TRIPLE ELIMINATION TAG TITLE MATCH: Chief Morely/Lance Storm vs The Dudley Boyz vs RVD/Kane..
    • Late in the match, Bubba holds RVD for Morely, who lines up for a chairshot..
    • DVon comes in and pulls the chair away from Morely!
    • DVon swings at Morely, but Bubba tackles Morely, saving him from getting a chairshot?!
    • Rob Van Dam attacks DVon and gets the pinfall to eliminate the Dudleyz!!
    • A few minutes later, Kane nails a chokeslam on Morely, and RVD hits a frog splash to win!
    • Kane & Rob Van Dam are your new World Tag Team champions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  21. BACKSTAGE: Eric Bischoff..
    • Bischoff says that if we thought Austin's firing was shocking, to stay tuned for something bigger..
    • Bischoff says that the ink on this contract isn't even dry yet!

  22. ROCK APPRECIATION CEREMONY: The Rock + Goldberg..
    • The Rock taunts the crowd until they begin to chant "You Suck! You Suck!" -- and that's a shoot fans..
    • The Rock says that he thinks that it absolutely sucks that Steve Austin was fired!
    • The Rock says that he has nothing but much love and much respect for Steve Austin..
    • The Rock says that he knows Steve Austin didn't wanna go out the way he did (3 Rock Bottoms)..
    • The crowd then chants "Rocky! Rocky! Rocky!" and wins the "Most Gullable Audience" award..
    • The Rock shows footage on the big screen of his life and wrestling career..
    • The crowd then tries to look smark and chants "Goldberg! Goldberg! Goldberg!"..
    • The Rock says that he's done everything he's wanted to do in wrestling, so NOW it's over..
    • The Rock says that the fans don't appreciate the Rock, and they can kiss the people's ass!
    • Goldberg arrives..
    • Goldberg comes out to the same music, same pyro and same cocky swagger from WCW..
    • Goldberg & Rock circle around the ring taunting eachother..
    • The crowd chants "Goooldberg! Gooooooooldberg! Gooooldberg!" like a bunch of marks..
    • Goldberg asks if The Rock wants to know who's next?
    • Goldberg then informs the Rock that HE'S NEXT!
    • Goldberg spears the hell out of the Rock and leaves the ring!!

  23. And that's a wrap folks...

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